How much do we think the epidemic of overwhelm and burnout in our culture has to do with the amount of time we are spending staring at screens or interacting with technology? This is something that’s been on my mind for a while.
After 7.45pm, I put screens away and other than for a couple of exceptions (if I need to speak to someone that I love) I am pretty strict about not engaging with them until an appropriate time the following day — I put my phone on airplane mode and I don’t switch that off until I have had what I describe as a ‘morning’, basically quality time to wake up and arrive in the world on my own terms before I interact with anything outside of it. I’ve been doing this for long enough now that on the rare occasions when I don’t, it noticeably affects my health.
I have started to schedule windows when I check my emails rather than doing it constantly, and I am beginning to do the same with my phone. I have started keeping it in a separate room from where I am working. I have stopped fastidiously responding to every single message I receive within 30 seconds of reading it unless it’s time sensitive, and I have also stopped expecting the same from others. I deleted Facebook during lockdown, Twitter last year and my Instagram is on its way out. I think ultimately I am edging towards a time when my phone reemerges triumphant to serve its original primary function - to make calls and send messages, alone. Some days I think there’s a chance I’m really contemplating doing an Ed Sheeran and ditching having a phone altogether - he got rid of his mobile in 2015 apparently and checks in with his emails every two weeks - although I don’t know how realistic that is for the majority of us. Perhaps that’s the more sensible option though rather than exhausting ourselves navigating all these modern boundaries. I appreciate the irony of creating this piece on a laptop in order to both post it and access the platform it will be published on but I think it’s the very act of creative endeavour that makes the use of it passable for me. It’s the relentless passive consumption and use of everything related to screens that causes me concern, anywhere where its use has gotten way beyond our control, or the terrifying myriad possibilities of where technology is heading.
What do you think about all this though? Where are you at with your technology usage? I definitely feel like I’m reaching some kind of tipping point with my own relationship to technology and I’d love to know if you’re experiencing something similar as a new era of AI and chatbots is dawning. Is it time to revert back to a trusty Nokia 3210? Is this even a functional option or have smartphones so ensconced themselves in our lives that we simply cannot do without them? Maybe you love everything about modern tech and where it’s headed and wouldn’t want to do without it. Why oh why though? ;) Let me know what you think in the comments.
I love this topic of conversation. I’m a ‘97 kid and an unpopular opinion to my peers is that... Isn’t the mobile phone, in essence, quite a rude invention?
If I knocked at your door constantly until an answer, I’m sure it wouldn’t be well received. I find phones and social media much the same.
I would love a world that would open its mind to differing tech etiquette as not everyone wants to be on rapid response.
Oh I hear you Richard! It is rude! I heard something recently about the primary intention of big tech was ultimately to commandeer every second of our time - I think it might be the subject of a new Black Mirror episode actually. I’ve also been having lots of really interesting conversations recently about a movement to return to analogue devices to push against some of that and also to reclaim ownership of media to prevent it disappearing, so perhaps this could be part of that somehow? Thanks so much for sharing :)
Oh I hear this! I've just removed the FB and Instagram apps from my phone, and taking a break. I was spending way more time on them than I'd like, seeing stuff that didn't really enhance my life and not actually feeling connected to anyone properly.
I've just discovered Substack and love the idea of being intentional with what I consume and subsequently put out in the world. I wanted to see how I felt about doing things and taking pictures without an audience to display them too.
A couple of weeks in and I'm loving it. My brain definitely feels less stimulated, although I've found that now I have way more time to think about things I feel anxious about....so not sure how much of a good thing that is, but probably [hopefully?] just a by-product of so much external stimulus for so long.
I read this https://substack.com/notes/post/p-110578809 by Emma Gannon and it sums up life perfectly for me at the moment. Social media was part of the overwhelm and confusion, and I'm currently on a mission to make some changes and live life differently. Time will only tell how social media plays a part.
Hey Tara, I love all of the above - particularly Emma's extraordinary post and being intentional with what you consume. Yes, yes, yes! Also doing things without an audience is a really interesting one too, definitely something I am attempting to explore here myself with writing. It just feels so much more quiet and considered a platform for that but yes perhaps, without all that stimulus to drown everything out that does leave room for our anxieties to be heard a little louder. I know the socials just kept me so distracted from tending to mine so maybe an opportunity to give them some loving attention? Really wonderful to have you here, Tara. Thank you so much for sharing.
A perfectly timed post - just returned from a trip to Tuscany where we met up with my family and my teenage nephew spent nearly the entire trip on his phone! It certainly made me reexamine my relationship with mine and with social media. I deleted my Twitter account several months back and I'm beginning to think Instagram might have to follow. Whilst I love having my phone to stay connected with my family and friends in the US (I live in the UK), most of the time I spend on it is not used for connecting with anyone but mindlessly scrolling and succumbing to the algorithm. I had also started an account to document our Victorian house renovation and connect with others who are renovating, but now that I've found Substack I think it might be time to transition my online presence here. Whilst this is an online platform as well, I do feel that it fosters greater and more thoughtful connection than any of the other socials, and I always leave it feeling enriched rather than like I've lost time but can't recall how I spent it.
Also, I have a work phone that is constantly getting pings and emails and I need to be better about not responding after hours (or find a new job!). I really like the idea of not checking my phones until I've had a 'morning' as you described. Setting an intention to start doing just that!
Yes Amber!!! Do it if it feels right! 'Succumbing to the algorithm' really got me. I also very rarely have my phone off silent and I have all notifications switched off so when I check my phone I have to really check it -- go into all the apps individually to see what's what. Just in case any of those boundaries are helpful too! If there's something really urgent happening I might check it more regularly but I still always keep the sound off. I'm also going to start experimenting with proper phone calls again rather than video calling all the time which I've gotten into the habit of. I find I listen much more intently and am much more present when it's just audio - do you experience that at all?
Apr 16, 2023·edited Apr 16, 2023Liked by Sian Clifford
Hi Sian! I keep my phone on silent as well but as I constantly have it near me I see the notifications pop up, so the notifications suggestion is particularly brilliant! I hadn't thought of that. They are incredibly distracting and usually sabotage any attempt I've made to not check my phone. Thank you for that :) As of today I am also going to start leaving my phone in a different room of the house. I did it this morning and felt quite a bit lighter!
I absolutely love the proper phone call idea! I do find that I'm much more present when it's just audio and it also feels like less pressure if that makes sense? I suppose less like a meeting. I did recently discover how to hide the self view on Zoom which helped me be a bit more present in the conversation as I could no longer catch glimpses of myself and get distracted by the 'oh my god does my hair actually look like that' type thoughts haha. Also, I started video calling with my family when I moved to the UK and it's become a very scheduled engagement, which has its benefits but I miss the spontaneity of phone calls and the sense of contacting someone just because I've been thinking about them. I think I'll start experimenting with this again, too!
Hi Amber, busy week, hence my delay but LOVE that those tiny shifts have made a difference already! Amazing. Any more to report? And you're totally right, they do feel a bit like a meeting!!! I really struggle with the self view thing too, I just end up looking at myself. I have a few people I do spontaneous calls to but I would love more of that back in my life - remember just going to a pals house and knocking on the door?? If you did that now I feel like people would think you were crazy. We have to announce ourselves and send a messenger ahead like we're in a Jane Austen novel!
Hi Sian! I completely understand and firmly believe conversations on social media are to be dipped in and out of when the time suits! I have turned off my notifications and have been leaving my phone in a different room and it is making a world of difference! It's horrible to realise how much meaningless scrolling I was doing, but the plus side is that I now feel like I have so much more time to do the things that actually matter to me. Instead of checking my phone first thing in the morning I am trying to meditate instead, a new practice for me (and indeed how I found your blog) and one that is making a huge difference already. Starting my day much happier and more peaceful now!
Re the spontaneous calls, I chatted with my mom midweek via a normal phone call and we had so much fun! We've agreed to try to do it more often. Amazingly it made me feel more present with her than on a video call, and it made me reflect on how my best in person conversations often take place on walks where I'm not looking at their face, and this seemed like a techy equivalent.
It's absolute ages since I spontaneously dropped in on someone! You're so right - nowadays it seems the norm is to text or call someone to tell them that you're at their door at the appointed time before knocking! What strange times we live in. And apologies - I have a tendency to ramble on!
No need to apologise for rambling, I am the Queen of the long winded ramble!!
I love all of this so much Amber. The spontaneous calls. The audio only. And yeah it's amazing what happens once we remove the techy barriers, figuratively and/or physically. So happy that your whole morning is transforming. That's incredible. Feeling very inspired by this! Going to try more myself. Thank you as ever for sharing <3
I would love to get to this stage and consider it a possibility. I’m 25 and more than anything, it saddens me how anxiety-inducing it is feeling like I have to start my morning by checking my phone, for it feels like an obligation more than a choice. I am aware that the power of the media lies in the fact that they are the creators of social and individual reality. And I love the ability of my phone to add instant value to the external world, and the importance to the most ordinary of events. But it frightens me how much the world of smartphones is the world of young people (including me) who have no reference points prior to their advent. And more than anything, I hate how reductive it is of language and the communication code. I am constantly reminding myself to consider the simulacra from such IT environment, merely as a corpus of stimuli to encourage my own critical thinking. But it is increasingly difficult. If you can get away, get a brick phone. Clare may have had to do it for her corporate world, but perhaps that explains a great deal :)
'The world of smartphones is the world of young people' wow. Yes I feel that keenly too Milton. And likely why it feels easier for me to consider stepping away. I can only imagine what it must be like growing up not knowing any other version of the world. Maybe the trend for vintage clothing and furniture will extend to the digital somehow. I do feel like record players, cassettes, all those analogue ways and means are making a comeback so who knows! Brick phones ahoy! And I totally agree about the dumbing down, gives me more to love about Substack really! Thank you for sharing.
Social media is such a strange thing isn’t it? You go on it to scroll because I think you feel that it fills the time when you are alone, however I think sometimes the act of sitting alone and not engaging with the world around you makes you feel lonely. I’ve never had Facebook on my phone, I have Instagram - but that’s about it. To be honest Instagram seems to be so many adverts now and so many ‘suggested posts’ that it has lost its originality. I love it when I go away and can only get on social media or even WhatsApp when I have found wifi. I never use my phone for my alarm so it is turned off completely at night. I think you have to set boundaries for yourself and like you say not feel the pressure to reply to a message 30 seconds later just because you think you should. When I have to charge my phone I leave it in another room so not to be tethered to a plug all evening. It’s a choice, you have to do what works for you.
Yes totally!! And social media, absolutely. Particularly what you say about Instagram. That's precisely the passive consumption I'm talking about, non-stop ads and the algorithm have killed it as a platform for me, it promises connection but it has become so empty and vacuous. It kind of makes me sad because I remember it being fun on there. I only really use it now to promote my projects and my Substack so in some way I guess I'm part of the problem! Although that is also why I love Substack so much. It feels so much more choice driven! Love that you mention that. Someone else was saying that too, about seizing control and reclaiming whatever it is you need. I guess there's a part of me that resents having to navigate our way around all these manipulative modern trappings. Devices and platforms that have been intentionally designed to be addictive and have become so intrinsic to our lives that it can be difficult to honour any boundaries we put in place - I'm very impressed with yours btw - but it's almost like telling people to give up sugar who live in a gingerbread house if that makes any sense?! :)
I can totally see that, I guess it’s how much sugar you want to give up, opposed to how much sugar you think you should give up.
I guess it’s about finding the healthy balance for you and your life and not letting social media get addictive as you say. I think it can also feed on people’s insecurities sometimes but then other times you may see something that lights up your soul. I think that’s how it keeps you from completely quitting sometimes. Although I do know some people who have no social media and some who at first had Facebook but then deactivated it and they said it was like going cold turkey for the first month or so.
Even in terms of promotion for shows, it’s interesting your comment as social media has totally changed the way people react or interact with this as well. It’s kind of a wizard of oz moment of looking behind the curtain, as social media when you are following people, podcasts or shows makes you feel like you are in part of something or that it is directly speaking to you. Whereas in the past there was a boundary involved with traditional promotion tools. You were seeing a press release or article or tv interview curated by someone else - although this can sometimes be the same with social media - yet you feel like you have a more personal touch as it comes directly from the person or show. You can interact and it makes you feel more involved. I have a podcast and I know social media plays a part in its promotion as we wouldn’t be able to afford traditional marketing and it reaches people around the world. But sometimes as you say you feel like you are contributing to the problem.
I don’t think social media will completely disappear but I do think people are more savvy and are starting to realise they have choices and it is always interesting to find new things for example Substack! :)
Haha! Oh man, I love that so much Emma. And are we willing to be honest with ourselves about how much we actually want to give up? :)
I think just like advertising social media is entirely founded upon and fed on our insecurities - and you're absolutely right, depending on how we're feeling that day and therefore what we're projecting, the things we see on there affect us in different ways on different days. Sometimes it's awful, sometimes it's magic!
I've never thought about the promotion like that - so interesting. I guess because I've spent most of my life behind the curtain maybe? It's literally become a part of nearly all of my contracts as an actor which I try to get removed because the line between the personal and professional has become so blurry on there. I have tried to rectify this by making mine exclusively a space where I post about work.
And yeah, I am definitely sensing a shift too, I think maybe it's been there for a while but I just noticed on my Instagram that they're introducing subscriber only content. It's not enough to keep me on there though as I have never been very good at creating that particular type of content but I think it will be really interesting to see where we are in the next 5-10 years! Loving the Substack vibes for now though. <3
If I could go back in time I would never download any form of Social Media, I would love to get rid of it as it’s just soo toxic!
I am a horrendously bad sleeper & have experienced insomnia pretty much my whole life (bad childhood lol) - and I definitely don’t help myself by having my phone next to my bed, ‘oh I’ll just check I actually sent that email’ next thing I’ve been on my phone for hours. I read somewhere once I think it was like 90% of smartphone users check their phone within an hour of waking up/going to sleep! I might take an idea out of your book & put it in a different room..
ANYWAY Happy Chatty Wednesday Sian!🌹. Sending you all the love & positive vibes 😍🩵🤸🏼♂️🌻🌞. Xxxxx
Hey Holly, yeah, same. I feel like once you've been on there it's so much harder to leave than if you never joined! Saying that, I was off social media entirely for a year and didn't miss it at all. Been sucked back in to shout about recent projects that I'm proud of but I'm edging away again as the fomo and needing to be on there is such a false narrative to abide by. I sometimes set a timer on my phone (say 5-10 mins) to be ticking away in the background to jolt me out of using my phone for too long if that might be a helpful tool? Otherwise I could lost in it for ages as well. As Guy above, said - seize control! Ritual is the key for me in that regard, hence the scheduled check ins, timers, putting the phone in a different space. If you think it's impacting on an already disrupted sleep pattern then maybe try some new things and see how you go :) Happy Chatty Wednesday to you too. X
Luisa you total inspiration!! How did you, how did you, how did you?? Insta still has it hooks in me, just about. Dammit! I was literally just speaking to someone from Substack about Notes though and said this exact thing!! It really unsettled me when I got the email through but at the very least I've fed that back directly to them, not that I think that will change anything. Let's see...
Is that perhaps because we see balance as a fixed point rather than a tightrope? Somewhere we want to arrive at rather than the shape shifting intangible thing it really is, that changes as we change and has to constantly be sought out and discovered again over and over? I think if you're on that path, that's how you pull it off maybe. The forever seeker :) Saying no is also a huge part of it too, 100%. Love that. And thank you. Hah! Don't know about the weekend but certainly the past year, or maybe 10!!
Love this Michael, thank you, as ever for sharing :) In particular: 'These phones are just shopping malls filled with whatever you delight in.' such an awesome take! And so much to think about. Is it ultimately then, about balance? This word is so horribly overused but I mean it in its truest sense. And a heightened sense of self-awareness so we don't get swallowed up or misled?
Guy, lovely to have you here. Oh how I envy your never getting sucked in to the social media maelstrom!! It started as something seemingly innocuous and fun that has turned into a true nightmare. Perhaps it’s these interactions that are the worst of it though and the phone as a tool in and of itself is a great thing to have! Thanks for sharing.
I love this topic of conversation. I’m a ‘97 kid and an unpopular opinion to my peers is that... Isn’t the mobile phone, in essence, quite a rude invention?
If I knocked at your door constantly until an answer, I’m sure it wouldn’t be well received. I find phones and social media much the same.
I would love a world that would open its mind to differing tech etiquette as not everyone wants to be on rapid response.
Oh I hear you Richard! It is rude! I heard something recently about the primary intention of big tech was ultimately to commandeer every second of our time - I think it might be the subject of a new Black Mirror episode actually. I’ve also been having lots of really interesting conversations recently about a movement to return to analogue devices to push against some of that and also to reclaim ownership of media to prevent it disappearing, so perhaps this could be part of that somehow? Thanks so much for sharing :)
Oh I hear this! I've just removed the FB and Instagram apps from my phone, and taking a break. I was spending way more time on them than I'd like, seeing stuff that didn't really enhance my life and not actually feeling connected to anyone properly.
I've just discovered Substack and love the idea of being intentional with what I consume and subsequently put out in the world. I wanted to see how I felt about doing things and taking pictures without an audience to display them too.
A couple of weeks in and I'm loving it. My brain definitely feels less stimulated, although I've found that now I have way more time to think about things I feel anxious about....so not sure how much of a good thing that is, but probably [hopefully?] just a by-product of so much external stimulus for so long.
I read this https://substack.com/notes/post/p-110578809 by Emma Gannon and it sums up life perfectly for me at the moment. Social media was part of the overwhelm and confusion, and I'm currently on a mission to make some changes and live life differently. Time will only tell how social media plays a part.
Hey Tara, I love all of the above - particularly Emma's extraordinary post and being intentional with what you consume. Yes, yes, yes! Also doing things without an audience is a really interesting one too, definitely something I am attempting to explore here myself with writing. It just feels so much more quiet and considered a platform for that but yes perhaps, without all that stimulus to drown everything out that does leave room for our anxieties to be heard a little louder. I know the socials just kept me so distracted from tending to mine so maybe an opportunity to give them some loving attention? Really wonderful to have you here, Tara. Thank you so much for sharing.
A perfectly timed post - just returned from a trip to Tuscany where we met up with my family and my teenage nephew spent nearly the entire trip on his phone! It certainly made me reexamine my relationship with mine and with social media. I deleted my Twitter account several months back and I'm beginning to think Instagram might have to follow. Whilst I love having my phone to stay connected with my family and friends in the US (I live in the UK), most of the time I spend on it is not used for connecting with anyone but mindlessly scrolling and succumbing to the algorithm. I had also started an account to document our Victorian house renovation and connect with others who are renovating, but now that I've found Substack I think it might be time to transition my online presence here. Whilst this is an online platform as well, I do feel that it fosters greater and more thoughtful connection than any of the other socials, and I always leave it feeling enriched rather than like I've lost time but can't recall how I spent it.
Also, I have a work phone that is constantly getting pings and emails and I need to be better about not responding after hours (or find a new job!). I really like the idea of not checking my phones until I've had a 'morning' as you described. Setting an intention to start doing just that!
Yes Amber!!! Do it if it feels right! 'Succumbing to the algorithm' really got me. I also very rarely have my phone off silent and I have all notifications switched off so when I check my phone I have to really check it -- go into all the apps individually to see what's what. Just in case any of those boundaries are helpful too! If there's something really urgent happening I might check it more regularly but I still always keep the sound off. I'm also going to start experimenting with proper phone calls again rather than video calling all the time which I've gotten into the habit of. I find I listen much more intently and am much more present when it's just audio - do you experience that at all?
Hi Sian! I keep my phone on silent as well but as I constantly have it near me I see the notifications pop up, so the notifications suggestion is particularly brilliant! I hadn't thought of that. They are incredibly distracting and usually sabotage any attempt I've made to not check my phone. Thank you for that :) As of today I am also going to start leaving my phone in a different room of the house. I did it this morning and felt quite a bit lighter!
I absolutely love the proper phone call idea! I do find that I'm much more present when it's just audio and it also feels like less pressure if that makes sense? I suppose less like a meeting. I did recently discover how to hide the self view on Zoom which helped me be a bit more present in the conversation as I could no longer catch glimpses of myself and get distracted by the 'oh my god does my hair actually look like that' type thoughts haha. Also, I started video calling with my family when I moved to the UK and it's become a very scheduled engagement, which has its benefits but I miss the spontaneity of phone calls and the sense of contacting someone just because I've been thinking about them. I think I'll start experimenting with this again, too!
Hi Amber, busy week, hence my delay but LOVE that those tiny shifts have made a difference already! Amazing. Any more to report? And you're totally right, they do feel a bit like a meeting!!! I really struggle with the self view thing too, I just end up looking at myself. I have a few people I do spontaneous calls to but I would love more of that back in my life - remember just going to a pals house and knocking on the door?? If you did that now I feel like people would think you were crazy. We have to announce ourselves and send a messenger ahead like we're in a Jane Austen novel!
Hi Sian! I completely understand and firmly believe conversations on social media are to be dipped in and out of when the time suits! I have turned off my notifications and have been leaving my phone in a different room and it is making a world of difference! It's horrible to realise how much meaningless scrolling I was doing, but the plus side is that I now feel like I have so much more time to do the things that actually matter to me. Instead of checking my phone first thing in the morning I am trying to meditate instead, a new practice for me (and indeed how I found your blog) and one that is making a huge difference already. Starting my day much happier and more peaceful now!
Re the spontaneous calls, I chatted with my mom midweek via a normal phone call and we had so much fun! We've agreed to try to do it more often. Amazingly it made me feel more present with her than on a video call, and it made me reflect on how my best in person conversations often take place on walks where I'm not looking at their face, and this seemed like a techy equivalent.
It's absolute ages since I spontaneously dropped in on someone! You're so right - nowadays it seems the norm is to text or call someone to tell them that you're at their door at the appointed time before knocking! What strange times we live in. And apologies - I have a tendency to ramble on!
No need to apologise for rambling, I am the Queen of the long winded ramble!!
I love all of this so much Amber. The spontaneous calls. The audio only. And yeah it's amazing what happens once we remove the techy barriers, figuratively and/or physically. So happy that your whole morning is transforming. That's incredible. Feeling very inspired by this! Going to try more myself. Thank you as ever for sharing <3
I would love to get to this stage and consider it a possibility. I’m 25 and more than anything, it saddens me how anxiety-inducing it is feeling like I have to start my morning by checking my phone, for it feels like an obligation more than a choice. I am aware that the power of the media lies in the fact that they are the creators of social and individual reality. And I love the ability of my phone to add instant value to the external world, and the importance to the most ordinary of events. But it frightens me how much the world of smartphones is the world of young people (including me) who have no reference points prior to their advent. And more than anything, I hate how reductive it is of language and the communication code. I am constantly reminding myself to consider the simulacra from such IT environment, merely as a corpus of stimuli to encourage my own critical thinking. But it is increasingly difficult. If you can get away, get a brick phone. Clare may have had to do it for her corporate world, but perhaps that explains a great deal :)
'The world of smartphones is the world of young people' wow. Yes I feel that keenly too Milton. And likely why it feels easier for me to consider stepping away. I can only imagine what it must be like growing up not knowing any other version of the world. Maybe the trend for vintage clothing and furniture will extend to the digital somehow. I do feel like record players, cassettes, all those analogue ways and means are making a comeback so who knows! Brick phones ahoy! And I totally agree about the dumbing down, gives me more to love about Substack really! Thank you for sharing.
Social media is such a strange thing isn’t it? You go on it to scroll because I think you feel that it fills the time when you are alone, however I think sometimes the act of sitting alone and not engaging with the world around you makes you feel lonely. I’ve never had Facebook on my phone, I have Instagram - but that’s about it. To be honest Instagram seems to be so many adverts now and so many ‘suggested posts’ that it has lost its originality. I love it when I go away and can only get on social media or even WhatsApp when I have found wifi. I never use my phone for my alarm so it is turned off completely at night. I think you have to set boundaries for yourself and like you say not feel the pressure to reply to a message 30 seconds later just because you think you should. When I have to charge my phone I leave it in another room so not to be tethered to a plug all evening. It’s a choice, you have to do what works for you.
Yes totally!! And social media, absolutely. Particularly what you say about Instagram. That's precisely the passive consumption I'm talking about, non-stop ads and the algorithm have killed it as a platform for me, it promises connection but it has become so empty and vacuous. It kind of makes me sad because I remember it being fun on there. I only really use it now to promote my projects and my Substack so in some way I guess I'm part of the problem! Although that is also why I love Substack so much. It feels so much more choice driven! Love that you mention that. Someone else was saying that too, about seizing control and reclaiming whatever it is you need. I guess there's a part of me that resents having to navigate our way around all these manipulative modern trappings. Devices and platforms that have been intentionally designed to be addictive and have become so intrinsic to our lives that it can be difficult to honour any boundaries we put in place - I'm very impressed with yours btw - but it's almost like telling people to give up sugar who live in a gingerbread house if that makes any sense?! :)
I can totally see that, I guess it’s how much sugar you want to give up, opposed to how much sugar you think you should give up.
I guess it’s about finding the healthy balance for you and your life and not letting social media get addictive as you say. I think it can also feed on people’s insecurities sometimes but then other times you may see something that lights up your soul. I think that’s how it keeps you from completely quitting sometimes. Although I do know some people who have no social media and some who at first had Facebook but then deactivated it and they said it was like going cold turkey for the first month or so.
Even in terms of promotion for shows, it’s interesting your comment as social media has totally changed the way people react or interact with this as well. It’s kind of a wizard of oz moment of looking behind the curtain, as social media when you are following people, podcasts or shows makes you feel like you are in part of something or that it is directly speaking to you. Whereas in the past there was a boundary involved with traditional promotion tools. You were seeing a press release or article or tv interview curated by someone else - although this can sometimes be the same with social media - yet you feel like you have a more personal touch as it comes directly from the person or show. You can interact and it makes you feel more involved. I have a podcast and I know social media plays a part in its promotion as we wouldn’t be able to afford traditional marketing and it reaches people around the world. But sometimes as you say you feel like you are contributing to the problem.
I don’t think social media will completely disappear but I do think people are more savvy and are starting to realise they have choices and it is always interesting to find new things for example Substack! :)
Haha! Oh man, I love that so much Emma. And are we willing to be honest with ourselves about how much we actually want to give up? :)
I think just like advertising social media is entirely founded upon and fed on our insecurities - and you're absolutely right, depending on how we're feeling that day and therefore what we're projecting, the things we see on there affect us in different ways on different days. Sometimes it's awful, sometimes it's magic!
I've never thought about the promotion like that - so interesting. I guess because I've spent most of my life behind the curtain maybe? It's literally become a part of nearly all of my contracts as an actor which I try to get removed because the line between the personal and professional has become so blurry on there. I have tried to rectify this by making mine exclusively a space where I post about work.
And yeah, I am definitely sensing a shift too, I think maybe it's been there for a while but I just noticed on my Instagram that they're introducing subscriber only content. It's not enough to keep me on there though as I have never been very good at creating that particular type of content but I think it will be really interesting to see where we are in the next 5-10 years! Loving the Substack vibes for now though. <3
If I could go back in time I would never download any form of Social Media, I would love to get rid of it as it’s just soo toxic!
I am a horrendously bad sleeper & have experienced insomnia pretty much my whole life (bad childhood lol) - and I definitely don’t help myself by having my phone next to my bed, ‘oh I’ll just check I actually sent that email’ next thing I’ve been on my phone for hours. I read somewhere once I think it was like 90% of smartphone users check their phone within an hour of waking up/going to sleep! I might take an idea out of your book & put it in a different room..
ANYWAY Happy Chatty Wednesday Sian!🌹. Sending you all the love & positive vibes 😍🩵🤸🏼♂️🌻🌞. Xxxxx
Hey Holly, yeah, same. I feel like once you've been on there it's so much harder to leave than if you never joined! Saying that, I was off social media entirely for a year and didn't miss it at all. Been sucked back in to shout about recent projects that I'm proud of but I'm edging away again as the fomo and needing to be on there is such a false narrative to abide by. I sometimes set a timer on my phone (say 5-10 mins) to be ticking away in the background to jolt me out of using my phone for too long if that might be a helpful tool? Otherwise I could lost in it for ages as well. As Guy above, said - seize control! Ritual is the key for me in that regard, hence the scheduled check ins, timers, putting the phone in a different space. If you think it's impacting on an already disrupted sleep pattern then maybe try some new things and see how you go :) Happy Chatty Wednesday to you too. X
Luisa you total inspiration!! How did you, how did you, how did you?? Insta still has it hooks in me, just about. Dammit! I was literally just speaking to someone from Substack about Notes though and said this exact thing!! It really unsettled me when I got the email through but at the very least I've fed that back directly to them, not that I think that will change anything. Let's see...
Is that perhaps because we see balance as a fixed point rather than a tightrope? Somewhere we want to arrive at rather than the shape shifting intangible thing it really is, that changes as we change and has to constantly be sought out and discovered again over and over? I think if you're on that path, that's how you pull it off maybe. The forever seeker :) Saying no is also a huge part of it too, 100%. Love that. And thank you. Hah! Don't know about the weekend but certainly the past year, or maybe 10!!
Love this Michael, thank you, as ever for sharing :) In particular: 'These phones are just shopping malls filled with whatever you delight in.' such an awesome take! And so much to think about. Is it ultimately then, about balance? This word is so horribly overused but I mean it in its truest sense. And a heightened sense of self-awareness so we don't get swallowed up or misled?
Guy, lovely to have you here. Oh how I envy your never getting sucked in to the social media maelstrom!! It started as something seemingly innocuous and fun that has turned into a true nightmare. Perhaps it’s these interactions that are the worst of it though and the phone as a tool in and of itself is a great thing to have! Thanks for sharing.